Losing a Loved One at Christmas Posted by Probate Bureau , 16/12/2020

Losing a Loved One at Christmas

No matter what time of the years, losing a partner, parent, sibling or a close friend, can be incredibly difficult and upsetting. However, when Christmas comes, a holiday that is especially family-focussed, it can quickly become something you dread.


Here at The Probate Bureau, we have gathered together some coping strategies from a range of experts that will help make navigating the Christmas period that bit easier. No one should have to struggle, no matter what time of the year it is, so, be sure to read on below.


Allow Yourself Time to Grieve


Sometimes, the anticipation and worrying about what is coming can be much worse than the day itself. It's important to recognise that the upcoming days and weeks may be hard and to prepare yourself for that.


Be Gentle With Yourself


You may not feel like socialising, and that's ok. Sometimes, being in the comfort of your own home can be important, especially when you are reflecting on what has happened.


Remember the Happy Times


When a loved one passes, Christmas can be an emotional time, especially when we need to look after ourselves and those around us. However, as time passes, special occasions such as Christmas can become a period where you remember all of the happy memories you had with them and the good times you shared in the past.


Maintain Your Usual Routine


The Christmas period may mean that your usual routine is disrupted, however, this can make it easier to forget to look after yourself. Make sure that you keep your regular sleeping and eating patterns, as such a small thing can make a huge difference. Of course, remembering to follow current legislation is vital, yet where possible, ensuring that you keep seeing friends and family, as usual, can also help a lot.


Accept That Everyone Will Mourn in Different Ways


It's also important to remember that different people will mourn in different ways. Conflict with family can often arise when we have expectations of how others should grieve, so try to be sensitive and accept other people's needs. Also, make sure to talk openly about what is best for you, so others are aware.


Consider Alternative Ways of Celebrating that Suit You


It can be important to work out, well in advance, the best way of celebrating, that'll suit the needs and feelings of those who are also sharing your loss.


Some may find that they do not wish to celebrate the festive period at all, whilst some may find that maintaining their usual festive routine and celebrating as normal is the best way to pay tribute to their loved one. It may feel important to make a special effort to remember them by visiting their grave, or a place that was special to them during the festive period.


This can be done alone, or with friends and family who knew the deceased. Perhaps, taking the time to look over pictures and share memories you cherish, can make all the difference and bring you together.


Buy Yourself a Gift


Why not buy yourself a gift? Perhaps something that you would have given the person you've lost, as a way to remember them, or you could buy them something they would've bought you. At the very least, why not get yourself a small token that reminds you of them?


Be Wary of Social Media


Social media at Christmas can be an emotional time. Many may be sharing happy memories of them with their immediate family, especially as Christmas will be a little different this year, and people are focussing on past, more positive times.


Remember, if you start to feel uncomfortable or upset, make sure you log off.


Remember, it Will Get Better


It's probably a statement you hear constantly, but that's because it is true. Grief can be a painful thing, that sometimes has a weightless feeling and sometimes feels incredibly heavy. Christmas, with its focus on family and joy, can feel almost unbearable.


If you take one thing from this article, remember, you only have to do your first Christmas without someone one. Then, you'll have a year to process what has happened and you can start moving towards the future, creating new traditions.


The process surrounding a loved one's death can be overwhelming. It can be extremely challenging and time-consuming, especially at an already busy period. Talking to us can help share the workload. Make sure to call our team of experts, today on 01920 443 590.

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